i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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