I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
