I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
