Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't deserve a penis
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
