btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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