how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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