You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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