She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
