He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
