Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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