I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i've created a new STD.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
