shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
