This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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