Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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