As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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