i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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