She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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