Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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