It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize