I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
