yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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