you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
