No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
17 year olds will be the death of me.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize