dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
