She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
