Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
