Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
