My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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