kristin has been a bad kristin
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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