:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
