So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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