Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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