he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize