Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
