Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
