If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she told me i tasted like america
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
