my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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