hell yes lets make some ravioli
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
last night I used snow as a chaser
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