so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
