I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
