I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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