C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize