I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
