meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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