just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
