Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
