didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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