I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
