Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have tasted many bathrooms
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
