now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
