Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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