I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
