What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
