I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
