Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
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FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
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i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
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