I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
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i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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