Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize