You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
