Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
