so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
