I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
