I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
