I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
