Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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