Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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