At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
