grandma shit on top of the toilet
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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