obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
