We won't sleep together?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize